The well-known, eastern-philosophy proverb talks of the existence of an individual as not “the one,” but someone who experiences, or a go-between. Likewise, I agree with the statement that awareness of self as a mediator to communication is important when learning about communication. In my opinion, understanding and the process of defining one’s inner-being, identity, and projection are the steps to better learning about communication.
Foremost, when looking at the aspects of communication, a person’s inner-being tends to govern the way she receives and processes communication. It entails the concept of self and the resulting self-assurance (Beebe et al, 2011). The awareness of one’s attitude, beliefs and values provide new insights, which one can refer, to listen so that an appropriate response can be given. These are the aspects that one has control over; which improves one’s presence in communication that is the foundation for human interactions and helps build mutual trust. Sometimes, if one is not aware, one's psychological or physiological presuppositions can take over, which might detriment conversations, or in worse scenarios, relationships. This is due to innate and primitive workings of the biological systems, through fight, flight or fright reactions. This is an example of the inner workings of oneself, which is years of pattern development in people with or without intention. In this inevitability, the concept of self-esteem comes to picture. The knowledge of self-esteem can lead one to use techniques like reframing (Beebe et al, 2011), and perspective taking (Johnson, 2019), which can help improve on self-assurance that would affect one’s future.
Secondly, working through the inner-being, the individual leads to establishment of an identity of self, which frames the way she sees and experiences the world. This is well defined by philosopher William James’ material self, social self and spiritual self (Beebe et al,2011). All the identities that one uses to define oneself like body, possessions, friends, culture, and philosophy can be put into this definition. Being aware of this and not mistaking it as the self, one can maintain her integrity as an individual. As described, identity is arrived at through improved self-esteem and facework (Beebe et al, 2011). Existentially, this is a lifelong process as change is inevitable; but better understanding of self, as the mediator can help mold one’s deeper layers as to be in better harmony with the outer world, and vice-versa. Identity is the strongest of the three that one can be attaching the idea of self to. It is the safety net in a time of need for any individual. For example, culture that is decided at a very young age gives a sense of comfort. This can hinder the ability to communicate outside of it, which cannot be overcome unless one thinks of oneself as a mediator. This extends to one's vocation, social group, or could be even race.
Next, we come to projection of the self, which is well explained by Carl Jung’s coined term “persona” (Britannica, 1998) that is the way a person tends to interact with others, which is even not known to oneself. Steven A. Beebe et al (2011) explain this phenomenon through “self and interpersonal relationships,” where multiple layers on the outside and inside the individual exert effect on one’s future, interpretation of messages, fulfillment of needs, and consequent, interpersonal relationships. Thus, assuming oneself as the mediator, helps in breaking down all the prospects, to a few to work on. The perception of an individual in the world is a leading cause of success. Active participation is a form of communication through mutual transaction of messages between self and the outer society. Improved relationships with friends and lovers, and colleagues are the result of better insights into personal behaviours, and through avoidance of conflict and stress. These can have direct benefits to one’s physical and emotional health (Beebe et al, 2011).
On the contrary, if we look at the temporally, lengthier period of positive effects of good communication and rest of the world, we will understand that not many have the luxury of learning about communication. The work on self and, especially as a mediator, can be hard to digest. Most of the population in the world is at the mercy of its environment and cannot, rather than do not, work on such matters, plus ego is a big hindrance of letting go. Many of the peoples’ Maslow’s hierarchy pyramid’s basic needs, of physiological wellbeing are not even met. The work on inner self could be but a triviality to them.
Given that interpersonal communication is irreversible, it is necessary to keep in mind that whatever one says, even if unintentional, is like physical matter and can have ripple effects in the world. The message can be perceived in favourable or unfavourable ways. This can have lasting impacts. The words are powerful. For instance, verbal communication is used to impart education to kids and relay important information to people, as in a scientific conference. Thus, keeping check on one’s buoyant emotions, prejudices and other self-developed ideas of self is of utmost importance when interacting with others.
In conclusion, it is evident that thinking of oneself as a mediator can help improve individual’s understanding of interpersonal and intercultural communication and build a foundation to work on. If one does not think of oneself as a mediator, and rather defines self through her identity, or even feelings, then much needed human relationships will surely suffer.
References
Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: relating to others. Seventh edition. Boston: Pearson
David W. Johnson (2019) https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/constructive-controversy/201906/the-importance-taking-the-perspective-others
Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia (1998). Persona. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/science/persona-psychology
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